Thats not a question.

Waiting on everyone else. I'm on 4 hours rest. Nothing is ready. Everything has to be done. Everything is work. What the hell.

A Blood Bath

Bouncers eating chips and beef jerky right on the floor. Turns out there's a fight. Turns out blood hits the dance floor. I got dirty looks and testing jabs and stuck to my guns. Turns out I was right. Turns out I admitted mistakes.
Fights don't make me smile. I get told to cheer up.
I grin at friends meeting me after work at 2am. I get glad at trusting myself and trying to be strong and kind.
Wheres Patrick Swayz when you need him?

Phantom On The Horizon

The first thing I posted when I made this thingy was about The Fall Of Troy. More specifically it was about their Ghostship Demo's which they wrote when they were 17. Today they released the finished album. They pressed 3000 copies which are currently sold out. It is however available for digital download at their website store.

http://thefalloftroy.merchnow.com/

The hype laying the foundation of this album for people such as myself is quite extraordinary. I make no attempt to pick highs or lows. But the fact is that it's 6 dollars, and it's the equivalent of ordering pizza to your door. Only you can eat it more then once.

Amazing things are everything and should be shared.

This is ridiculous

Hey good lookin......

No time for cupcakes

Today I was wearing my special hat. The one
that people laugh at. And these two guys on a
bus at a red light did laugh. So I smiled back.
And then they gestured their chins. So did I.
On my bus ride I got a knot in my stomach.
I thought about standing out. The difference
between being remembered and forgotten.
I don't want to be remembered by those two.
Surviving in their interpretation.
But then all we are is other peoples intake.
I have to shudder at my perception of myself.
But thats the only one with all the information.
All the clues to form the puzzle and paint the picture.
How many people get to stand back and view it?
Their portrait.
You place a piece here,
and there,
paint a few new.
Scare the living shit out of a lot of people probably.
Surprise yourself. And see all the vibrant colours
All the contours and contrasts. The value of each.
This is hypothetical. But there is supportive evidence.
A little odd that this is all the complete reverse of exhausting.
The evidence does exist.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wWPpKgi-ELU

I lied about my SIN

Now the words are scarce. Now the words mean something.
We have 6 days to vacate the premises. Someone has six hundred of our dollars.
Its down to it. Right on the brink.
Not one step back.
This is not a dress rehearsal. This is it.
Better or worse.
Pooling resources just to stay alive.
This is what we know.
Not one step back.
Don't let me miss my life.
Biking full speed at 1 am with the tunes maxed.
Dill pickle chips and a flick.
Photo's of sand.
Were going for a trip dude.
And were not taking one step back.

Cest Lamour

I don't find anyone 'attractive'. Not at the moment. I would have to redefine my concept of the word. I fall in love with peoples work and passion. But they themselves, I donno...
To have someone, to obtain some kind of ownership. I can't do it. Silly. Oh your seeing someone else? Heartbreaking, but, yeah thats just better.
Tension and the enormous game of getting what you want. Am I crazy that this seems selfish?
Personal gain. Disgusting. I joined a parade but I think I'm going to sit down.
A pulse sure, just powered by a heart.
I guess I need to get over myself concerned with yourself.......
or something.
Ever see the movie with the moronic male stereotype bragging of banging a blonde bombshell as if he won the war? True story.
Ever hear the song where she made his every sleeping waking moment shine? True story.
I lost the war. And when you do you see the bodies. You get a little uncomfortable.
According to.
Chuck I'm inspired.
I remember talking about the book I was reading. I remember talking about God. Wow.
I talked about God.
Next I do, it'll just be repeat won't it? I'll be reciting to catch up to where I left off. The choice before the mistake.
I'll disagree in a few hours perhaps. But not now. Not this showing.
You're right Chuck. I'm playing out another take.
Why not a different feature? A different medium?
Why not dreams? Why not challenges? This book sucks.
Waving off this float to the crowd waving back.
Get me out of here.
Take me to Paris.
I want Natalie Portman to come to my hotel room and challenge me. And be a person with me.
Not a role. Not a movement played out a hundred times before on a hundred people.
Spew out what you think about God. Not what you think sounds cool.
What do you think of that skyline and these bricks placed by people long since gone?
Did they recite? Or did they muster up the guts to cry?
I remember fractions of that. Getting on a plane just to see the look on your face.
And seeing that my fantasy was too much to ask. But the effort was the most alive I've ever felt.
What the hell am I doing in this city?
Who are these terrible terrible people?
Why am I playing with them?
When am I deciding I've paid my dues?
Where do you fall in love in Paris?
I bet they mustered up the guts to hold on.
Just please read Chuck for what he really is.
Disarming. Challenging. Uncomfortable.
Because theres something wrong. I can't believe I'm not stupid. All this time I was stupid.
No you're not attractive. You're a tape recorder.
Thank you so much Charles.
This city is so ridiculous. I'm ridiculous. I could not be more proud of myself at times like this. When I buy tickets. When I catch planes.
I'll disagree in just a few hours.
It was the same then. And it wasn't the fantasy.
But in the air I felt my soul emerge.
I love you.

Fool me twice

How embarrassing. Everything becomes fake. Especially this sort of thing. All for no person. I.

Waste.

Bar Room Brawls

I complied this evening to every thing I was able while resuming normal tendency my mind fluttered and faded and I felt like I was fine but I feel like a change occurred in there somewhere and if the lid was lifted a horrible mist might emerge or it might not and thats of course assuming you keep a seal on these sort of things right of course sure yes yes yes positive yep sure sure right away intercourse intercourse run.

Production

I was going to clean today.
Instead I made you a mix.
It begins with a slow down sped up last crusade quote.
Skip to dirty love songs and rock and roll.
Slivers of drum machines will tickle your neck..
This sort of thing demands analogue.
Get my ass to a thrift store and barter for artifacts.
No occasion except I want to sleep with you.
Oops.

On The Bus

I wish I was a liar.
Having to revert to that again, to that status.
Hard worker.
"I never lie. But I am a savage."
Fight.

Tight

Success. Oh God why do I feel so off?
Where am I going to get the money?
Who gives a flying fuck about money(.)
I'm playing magic cards in a Tim Hortons.
I'm winning her back.
I have a deep voice and a mustache.
How did I end up here?
On a fence thats where.
I tore my coat when I flipped sides. Now I'm sitting here winded starring at the cloth on the barbed wire. The evidence. The explanations pouring. The authorities. My author.
He's a monster isn't he?
Oh I almost forgot! Congratulations you're intelligent.
Rain.
Throat sealing back actual.
Do I want to be fleeting or not?
Pinch Harmonic. Keep your eyes shut and your teeth gritted.
Bare me.
And fuck off.